How to evolve as parents

As mothers and parents, we always want our baby girl to be our baby at all times. My girl is eight now and I don’t think I have ever wished for time to go slower and pause more than now. In our day to day life, it is easy to neglect and almost forget the small, miniscule moments that make up everyday life. 

In this busy life, it is really quite difficult to ensure you manage to sneak in some quality time with your loved ones. As adults, we tend to forget that for children, even ten minutes of our quality time everyday is good enough. Ideally, in today’s technology driven world, this should be something sans technology, sans screen and just about communicating and discovering the joys of raising a child, an almost adult, a wonderful, sensible and amazing mini you.

Since me and my husband always wanted a daughter, we were thrilled when our wish actually came true. There are a lot of things in raising a child that me and my husband don’t agree upon but if there is one thing in which we unanimously agree is spending good time with her, as a family and individually at least once a week, if not more.

Things to do with your daughter often:

  • Find a board game/ activity that bonds you together as a family. For us, it was Lego when she was younger and Monopoly and Scotland Yard now that she’s growing up. When she is with my mom, who’s nearly 80 years old, she adjusts and plays Snakes and Ladders and Ludo with her. 
  • As a mother and daughter duo, we go for walks every weekend and we have a waffle party every Friday evening.
  • On the two off days of the week, one day is reserved for going to the mall or the movies, a pizza party or hanging out with friends and relatives while one day of the week is for doing absolutely nothing. It is a day for binge watching, sitting in pjs and essentially chilling together at home as a family.
  • As the kids grow up, their likes and dislikes change and we need to find a middle ground enjoyable and doable to all of us. My girl enjoys gymnastics and yoga but neither me or my husband are yoga people so once a week, she goes to yoga with her maasi and we play ‘pretend’ or card games or take her and her close friends for a drive. 
  • It is important to understand and accept that she may not always want to hang out with you. As much as that could hurt, we need to be more accepting to growth, growing up and taking in the ‘newer’ mature and grown up girl with as much love as we have done till now. My daughter plans play dates with her friends every weekend and sometimes it does get a bit annoying, it is such a pleasure to see her interact and blossom with her friends. The side of her that I get to witness when she is with her friends is the side ‘the rest of the world’ sees and those are moments of extreme pride and joy.

Today she is 8 years old. At the pace at which she grows up, I know it is going to be a blink of an eye when she will be all grown up and not need me as much as she does now. Girls do grow up fast and while we do become independent, I doubt there will ever be a time when she will not need me at all. 

I still need my mother. I lost my father two years back and I still seek his advice, his comfort and reasoning. Parents are always important, always needed. While they can be taken for granted, shouted at, irritated at- they are two people who love you more than anybody can ever love you in this world and they are ones who know you the best, your every move, mood and emotion.

As a mother and a daughter myself, I still seek ways to connect with my mother who’s nearly 80 years old. A simple short walk to the fruit market and medical shop is all she needs and that makes her happy. She’s happy knowing she is not alone and my hands will be there to hold, support and comfort her in every walk of life.

And that’s exactly the relationship I am seeking with my daughter too, where she knows just her presence is good enough to know all is well in my life.

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